A Chance to Escape

Hi, there. And welcome to my very first Six Sentence Sunday on my brand spanking new blog. Last week, I had issues with comments and so, I decided there was no better time to jump ship than immediately. So, to ring in the new blog, a recap of Six Sunday:

  • You pick six (6) sentences from anything you’ve written–a work in progress (wip), something under submission, something sold; something new, something old.
  • You sign up at the Six Sunday website Tuesday starting at 6PM EST.
  • You post it on Sunday (along with posting a link of suxisunday.com)! Such as I have below.
  • And then you enjoy.

Right, so last week Lawson told his friend Catherine that they better run. Only problem is they don’t have an escape plan.

He was glad Catherine was feeling better, but he sure wished that he was; their options of escape had dwindled to none and it didn’t take a clever mind to surmise that once the soldier he’d hit got back up, he’d be looking for the boy that did it to him. The soldiers were starting to corral the townspeople together, to fan out into the alleys and herd them back like cattle.

“Law, what do we do?” Catherine asked. He wanted to ask her the same question.

He opened his mouth to tell her that they had better figure it out soon, or end up on the business end of the soldiers’ rifles when he saw Jenson and his covered wagon.  Lawson took Catherine’s hand again and hoped it stayed there this time as he pushed through the crowd, eyes constantly looking for the soldier he was sure was coming.

He’s a resourceful kid, so I’m sure he’ll be fine. In the meantime, check out all the other Six Sunday snippets here. It’s a great way to spend Sunday. :)

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26 thoughts on “A Chance to Escape

    1. J.M. Blackman says:

      Right? :) I figure, he’s gotta be super useful for him not to be completely ugh-worthy due to all the awful he’s done.

        1. J.M. Blackman says:

          You see the good in him. That’s good. We all get a little turned around sometimes. Some more than others…

    1. J.M. Blackman says:

      Glad you’re liking it! And yeah, he can find a way!

      [Got it! And that is so funny. I kept looking at it like I knew it was wrong, but then got distracted and never double-checked!]

  1. daezarkian says:

    Nice tension here, and you continue to do a great job painting the scene so it remains vivid but not overwhelming. Great job!

  2. siobhanmuir says:

    I love the tension in this snippet even with the hope of escape in the covered wagon. Fun six, Jalisa. :)

    1. J.M. Blackman says:

      Awesome. Fun is what I want to go on around here! :) Thanks, Siobhan. I’m keep worrying I’m overdoing the tension, but y’all would tell me, right? Right.

    1. J.M. Blackman says:

      Oo, my first threat! I’m excited. Now, I know I’m really doin’ something around here. Thanks, Kate!

  3. Tense six, and I know you were trying to get it all into six sentences, but to my mind it would come across with more urgency if you made the sentences shorter, Just my opinion :-)

    1. J.M. Blackman says:

      I do like shorter sentences, but if I get into the habit, I forget how to construct longer ones. But when I go back and edit this, I’ll probably chop it up quite a bit. Thanks, Paula!

  4. I like the sentence-length difference between the internal dialog and external diolog. You’re setting us up for action–like this is the (relative) calm before the storm when things will get more and more clipped as the scene ramps up. So, what happens next?!

    1. J.M. Blackman says:

      You’re like a mind reader. I think I love it. What happens next? Well, they get away, of course, but things are never so simple as all that. ;)

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