Nation First, Nation Last

wewriwa_square_4I’m trying to get into the habit of being a weekly participant at Weekend Writing Warrior. Chugging along alright, getting some steam!

Weekend Writing Warrior recap:

  • Sign up on the site.
  • Post 8 sentences of your writing, published or unpublished, to go live after 12:00 noon
  • Then visit other participants on the list and read, critique, and comment on their 8 sentence posts.
  • Spread the word! Twitter hashtag #8sunday.
  • More detailed rules here.

I’m sharing snippets from a wip called The First Nation. Last time I checked in with the Weekend Warriors, Raveena (our mc) gave us a look at the second part of her job–reporting. Basically, turning in what you’ve harvested for the day. You must meet quota, though. Or a note goes into your file. Raveena has convinced a man in front of her to rethink raising his voice to the Reporter. Now, she’s reported her quota and the Reporter is sending her on her way. The Reporter speaks first, starting a common phrase of parting in the Nation.


She tapped a couple of keys and nodded at me. “Nation first.”

“Nation last.” I walked away before she could even get the aborul onto the conveyer belt stuttering behind her. It wasn’t like me to stick my neck out for anyone else. It wasn’t like anyone in the Nation to do it. I didn’t know why I’d done it.

Guess I didn’t want him to ruin my day.


That’s my 8! Now, get on over to the Weekend Writing Warriors and check out some other great 8s. :)


20 thoughts on “Nation First, Nation Last

  1. daezarkian says:

    I love the way your world is developing. I need to go back and re-read some of the older excerpts to make sure I’m absorbing it all, because you’ve clearly given this setting lots of thought! Great snippet!

  2. That phrase gave me chills! Yikes, I wouldn’t survive a day in that world *problems with authority and all* That really sets up how unusual Raveena’s behavior was!

  3. siobhanmuir says:

    Uh-oh, she’s developing compassion and caring. LOL Nicely done, Jalisa. I like how your character is developing.

  4. This “Nation” is quite the place…alpha and omega. Maybe I need to explore your story more to discover what the aborul would do on that stuttering conveyor belt. Also wondering who “he” is.

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