Losing Purchase

wewriwa_square_4It’s been a long time since I’ve been a participant at Weekend Writing Warrior. I could give all of the excuses (er….reasons), but instead I think I’ll just say I’m happy to have made it back. And also that I’m NaNoing to get this sucker done. So, cap off to all those other NaNoers out there. You can do it!

Weekend Writing Warrior recap:

  • Sign up on the site.
  • Post 8 sentences of your writing, published or unpublished, to go live between 12:00 noon Saturday and 9AM Sunday
  • Then visit other participants on the list and read, critique, and comment on their 8 sentence posts.
  • Spread the word! Twitter hashtag #8sunday.
  • More detailed rules here.

I’m sharing snippets from a wip called The First Nation.  Last time I checked in with the Weekend Warriors, Raveena (our mc) had just left work and had returned home, to find her father sick, though she believed him to be simply drunk, as usual. We’re going to fast-forward a bit in the story to right before we meet a very important frenemy in Raveena’s life.

*

I hadn’t been shuffling through the cave for more than 10 minutes when I heard a sound that I had not made; it was the sound of boots. I would always recognize it in a tunnel, and they weren’t mine.

I was backing down the tunnel the way I came before I’d had time to consider who could possibly be down here with me.

Of course, that’s when he fell.

He didn’t call out for help, but it wouldn’t have been of any use, anyway, as far as he knew. I heard the slip of his feet, the explosion of breath that turned to a wrenching yell when he tried to catch himself, and then there the slide of his feet continuously losing purchase.

He was not coming back up the ledge he’d slipped across, and he wouldn’t without my help.

I didn’t want to give it.

*

That’s my 8! Now, get on over to the Weekend Writing Warriors and check out some other great 8s. :)

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10 thoughts on “Losing Purchase

  1. Welcome back! We’re glad to see you.

    I love the description of this action. It put me right in the scene! “I heard the slip of his feet, the explosion of breath that turned to a wrenching yell when he tried to catch himself…”

    The end of that sentence, “and then there the slide of his feet continuously losing purchase.” I think “there” might not be necessary.

    Good luck with Nano. Thanks for encouragement. I’m behind. :-)

    1. Aww, Teresa, thanks! Glad to see you, too. Thank you so much for the comment & critique. I laughed when I read your comment because I didn’t have “there” in there, then I added it, then I took it out. Then, I put it back in there. Ha. And thank you for the good luck! I’m also behind…we’ll catch up!

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